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Inner Quest Article - Tapitallee Quest October 2001

Our goal was to achieve a level of insight not normally available in our day to day lives. ‘Retreating’ into the wilderness is one way of escaping the ‘rat race’, the little squabbles at home, the relationship problems associated with living in a confined space, of constantly being reminded of our shortfalls and inhibitions. Yes, to get away and reflect in the clear fresh air of the Australian bush.

Firstly we got to know each other, through the ritual of ‘morning tea’ in the ‘trains’ cabin. This brilliant cabin was made up of two railway carriages which were divided into small bedrooms. Between them was a large room perfect for running workshops.

Morning tea over we just sat and talked about what we were about in life. This bonding ritual was the perfect opening to our three day quest.

I then looked at each participant’s astrology charts, the natal configurations that formed their ‘lessons’ for this life-time and what was happening for them at the moment. This went over well with a lot of laughs, but behind each chuckle was a burning desire to know the Inner Quest each struggled to fulfill this time around. This session laid the foundations for the rest of the retreat.

By the end of the first day we were exhausted, we had talked ourselves out and had begun to make some strong bonds of friendship.

Our afternoon workshop was on Taoist Kundalini and Tantra breathing exercises. We practiced and talked about our experiences. The simple breathing exercises, discussion of sexual energy, how necessary chi was to our spiritual growth. The exercises and talk on kundalini and astral travel raised our energy for the coming two days.

Next day each quester worked individually with me in the ‘dome’ a special healing room. Here the most intense psychic healing took place. Each quester had two individual sessions using a Jungian/astrology archetype and psychodynamic approach. The insights gained in this space was beyond our expectations.

One young lady was raped at age 14 by her brother’s best friend. As a result she rebelled as a teenager but no-one in the family knew why. She was unable to tell her parents and so the pain and resentment built up inside her. She now has three children, a loving husband, but didn’t enjoy sex. After our workshop on kundalini the previous night she talked of how she would like to enjoy what everyone else raved about but never expected for herself.

Over the two days this lady discovered that the main issue arising from the rape was not the pain or the fear of being murdered afterwards. These were real, of course, but not the central issue. The central issue was that her mother was emotionally unavailable in her time of greatest need. In her chart we found she had Cancer Ascendant (a primary need to nurture and be nurtured) with her Moon in Aries conjunct Chiron. The birth, or fundamental psychological wound, was associated with her mother and issues of nurturing. In my experience in counselling rape victims it is those who cannot connect to their loved ones who suffer the most. A protective factor is being able to talk to a loved one, like mum.

We worked on the issue using trance techniques I have used and developed over the years, she was eventually able to confront her rapist and take back her ‘Mojo’, her sexuality / femininity and her personal power.

Next we went to mum and worked on her until this lovely lady was able to get a hug and commitment from her mother, to support and love her like a mother should. This was all done in a light trance. The change in that lady was remarkable, the other quester’s commented on her radiance. This lady has specific meditation exercises to do at home to consolidate her newfound power. A big ask without continual support from her mentor, but she is able to keep in touch by email and phone with each other quester..

Another quester was a gentle healer himself. His wife berated him for being too soft, she basically ‘turned’ into his tyrant mother.

He appeared to have no warrior spirit. We looked at his Mars in the natal chart, in Sagittarius with trines to Pluto and Jupiter, so he should have had the power to become the warrior. But on further analysis we found his Sun was in Pisces in opposition to Pluto and Jupiter forming a Grand Cross with Saturn and Moon. His Chiron was also in his 1st house.

This tells us that his father was emotionally and spiritually unavailable to him and that he was dominated by his mother (also part of the Grand Cross and opposite Saturn square Pluto). Chiron showed that his fundamental wound began at birth and so was very hard to shake.

He was impotent, he had lost his power. To regain it he underwent an initiation, in trance, raising his inner child in an Indian village, from birth to manhood. And it was a beautiful and powerful session I can tell you.

One other lady, of exceptional ability to use trance to contact and work with her astrological archetypes, went into trance to talk with Neptune. She discovered that after two years of working with Neptune and accepting his role as her most suitable guide, found that he was not. She had worked with Neptune, gaining some major insights in her business and life, his advice has always been spot on, has always been perfect and appropriate. But during the trance session she saw, ducking in behind him, and whispering into his ear, Mercury, the winged messenger.

He was found out, he told her that he was being given information from the Sun archetype, and that he had never told her about it because she had never asked. Simple, true, she had taken his wisdom for granted. Now she speaks with Sun, but occasionally still visits Neptune, after all, he is so cool.

We finished the quest with a personal ‘myth’. Each quester told us what they related to most: a story, a movie, a myth, a legend, or anything that illuminated their life. One told the story of ‘Shrek’, the recent cartoon ogre movie where outer ugliness turned into inner beauty; another the story of his awakening as a warrior and initiation into manhood; another told how she hated Madonna, the singer diva, and how she loathed her blatant sexuality—but now, after her inner work, she related to Madonna’s femininity and free spirit, now she was free to express that which was previously inhibited, now she was prepared to be as free as Madonna.

Yesterday, working with me at my Huskisson clinic, one of the questers wanted to know about the Cinderella myth, this was her ‘Myth’, she was raised just like Cinders. In trance she asked why the glass slipper, of all things? The Sun archetype told her, quite matter of factly, that it represented, for the Prince, something special and unattainable. When he saw the glass slipper, he was fascinated, and wanted the girl to go with it. It was for the Prince, not for Cinderella, it was her ‘bait’ for the life of ease she so desired and deserved. The Sun cut to the quick, he came up with an answer that had eluded the two of us for some 20 minutes of discussion, an answer that wasn’t in the psychology or mythology books either.

At the end of the quest I gave each a picture I had drawn during the time I spent with them in their trance work. It highlighted their personal quest and gave my insights and validated theirs. They were now ready to take their newfound spirit back into the world.

All questers achieved insight and healing beyond my wildest expectations. If you are a member of your local state branch of the FAA, then you might read my article on the Inner Quest in a future journal. This is a good reason to join up if you haven’t already.

What some of them had to say:

“Thanks Noel. What can I say? You’ve been my rock of stability, and my guide to enlightenment. The time was right for things to start happening in my life. You’ve been the one chosen to do this after my years of searching for the right time and right person. From now on it will be onwards and upwards.” RC, NSW

“A big thank you for your guidance, knowledge, good humour, Inner Questing skills and ‘Life of Brian’ skills. You helped me learn, consolidate and grow a lot. I feel more confident and confirmed in my own journey. Thanks for the powerful initiation of my Little Boy into the man, a young warrior. I give to you a Star of Inner Wisdom and Knowledge. May you keep these skills forever.” MC, NSW

“Noel, creator of a new beginner, you had a vision and created ‘The Retreat’. In my spirit, heart and soul I will be forever grateful. These 3 days have seemed like a lifetime, I have never molded so easily into a group situation and opened up. You made this easier for me and everyone, what a great trait, what a great person. Thank You, hoping our paths will cross again someday.” GM, Vic.

© Noel Eastwood 2001

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